Experiencing Patriarchy

Originally published for Montage Initiative and the Student Advisory Board.

India is a strongly patriarchal society, of different degrees depending on the level of development of individual states, cities, and regions. Going around to the cities of Vrindavan, Delhi, Agra, and Japiur, virtually every public space in India, one thing stands out to me; almost everyone outside is male. Almost no women walk on the streets, go grocery shopping, or drive. In many (or rather most) parts of India, women are largely confined to the private domain and discouraged from being out in public. Of course, this is changing, and now there are more and more women outside, and more women drivers. The few female drivers in Delhi appeared inspirational and brave simply for being out. The number of girls at universities is also on the rise.

What a spectacle we made as a group of 14 non-native women in our twenties and one gentleman (thanks Alvin!), attracting much attention everywhere we went. Almost all the men passing by or who caught a glimpse stared intently and unabashedly as we walked on the streets, and peered at us even when we were inside the bus vehicle. Many took photos or videos of us without asking, like paparazzi. A few asked to take photos or selfies – I made sure to firmly say no when asked to take photos with random men. Visual and psychological objectification at its highest, all of my colleagues and I were outraged.

Having been warned of this and learning from previous experience, I wired my mentality not to pay it attention or to notice – my best coping mechanism to not let the overbearing stares and crass behavior affect me. But the second that I snap out of that mode, I see the photos, stares of questionable motives everywhere, and I was certainly not the only female to feel exposed, scrutinized, and utilized.

Furthermore, we were warned many times not to go out in the streets of Delhi past 8pm, even in a large group as we were. It was not safe to walk around anywhere alone, regardless of time of day, but especially so at night, and especially not during New Year’s Eve. This is what lack of freedom means, – to not be able to go out alone, or late at night, or to not be able to go out period. It means to be judged and utilized for every stranger’s eye pleasure, while individuality and dignity feels lost. My friends and I caught a mere glimpse of what women and girls suffer as a lack of freedom in a highly patriarchal society.

The Status of Women and Girls

The status of women and girls in India is low, as it in most developing countries and even developed countries. Women’s treatment as second-class citizens manifests itself in the form of child marriage, female infanticide, property rights, widow abuse, and more. Women and girls are generally discouraged by their families and society from being seen in the public sphere. Rather
they are confined to the home behind closed doors where they cook, clean, take care of the family, and cater to their husbands’ wants with little freedom of choice. Behind closed doors they are also often subject to abuse by the hands of their husbands or male relatives. Indeed women often do not have the right to their body, such as the right to make decisions about when and how many children to have. Often, this choice rests solely with the husband.

Patriarchy in India has also caused one of the most skewed gender ratios at about 918 females for every 1000 males. This originates from a society that valorizes males to the detriment of females. Families prefer to have male babies instead of female babies, sometimes resorting to female infanticide to abort their female babies in hopes of having a male baby later. The majority
of the factors leading to the skewing of the gender ratio occur during the pre-natal phase of a baby to about age 5. If the female baby survives age 5, then it is most likely that she will continue living. Thus today there remains the question of the “missing girls” who were never born or died as infants.

But, the preferential treatment of males over females continues throughout childhood. Because there are not enough government schools, families who have more resources sometimes opt to take their children to private schools which cost some money. Families prefer to send boys to school, and sacrifice education for girls so that the girls may help out with chores. This was quite evident in the schools of the adopted villages and NGOs that we visited. In almost every classroom there was a dearth of girls.

The discrimination against girls and women only intensifies during adolescence and adulthood. While the practice of child marriage is now banned in India, it still occurs in the least developed parts of India and especially the northern states like Rajasthan and Haryana. And while the practice of dowry has ended, it continues in some of the same areas – a girl’s family pays money to the future husband’s family – which rarely but scandalously resulted in bride burnings, in which the husband’s family killed the new bride in order to remarry and obtain another dowry. Now the government of India has put in law provisions that discourage such a practice by holding the husband’s family responsible for the death of a wife within 7 years of the marriage, by default.

Next, sexual harassment is a massive problem in India. The undermining term of “Eve teasing” is sexual harassment of girls and women in the form of groping, verbal harassment in public spaces such as the streets or public transportation. Delhi has the highest rate of rape in the world.

In a society with such a skewed gender ratio, the dearth of girls has had major repercussions – from an increase in the rate of violence by men, to human trafficking and increased prostitution and “importation” of women. Yet, it is also helping to break some of the barriers of the cast system as people are now forced to intermarry between castes, seeing as how there are few women available.

Several tragic events have set into motion turning the wheel of change. One of the most recent events, the 2012 Delhi rape case flung the country into outrage as masses of people occupied the gates of India in Delhi, and protested in cities throughout the country to demand government action to protect victims and bring perpetrators to justice. Likewise the 1992 gang rape case of
Bhanwari Devi elicited a similar reaction.

The women’s movement is alive and well trying to influence change. As a result of all these efforts and recent events, the Indian government put into place several laws and even amended its constitution to offer more protection and rights for women, such as amendments 73 and 74 which set a quota for maintaining at least 33% women in local governance assemblies. It also enacted
the Sexual Harassment Act of 2013, and made changes to inheritance in property laws, dowry, child marriage, and more in favor of women. While India has strong laws for gender equality, implementing them remains a challenge. Discussion continues to the next article here.